每周2 周5 修改. 请大家把字数控制在 100字以内.谢谢拉

April 21th 2008           Cloudy

    Today I saw a picture which is very funny. It discribe(你前面用了saw就决定了整个文章的基调是过去时态，这里最好用过去时态) that after thousands of years human beings would have（插入only更能表达你要表达的意思吧） two hands with two fingers each .Why would it happen?Cause nowadays people use computers on work or just pastime all day long（这个句子想表达什么意思？ 你可以说and on work and partime ）.Most of them only（这句没有谓语啊，插入need) to click the mouse time by time,and it seem that there are only two useful fingers.So maybe it is possible for us to imagine that in the future everything could happen.

真是感谢Boninjan老师！我的第一篇日记如下：

April 21, 2008

Job,everyone seems has a job, but I haven't. It is not because I couldn't get one, I just don't like to abide every rules(插入in) a company instituted, I don't want to waste my 20% daytime of eveyday on traffic jam, and my dogs need me to take care...yes, I have many excuses to escape from working. At least, I can make my own choices（这里有单数就可以） now, it doesn't like my parents's old era anymore. Why not to choose the way （查入that）I want to live,just like what I told myself and my parents either. I have been hard working(这里为什么要用现在完成进行时？) for couple years, I have made（这里为什么要用完成时态？ 这两件事情不是都没有发生呢吗？ 应该用将来时态） some money which enough to support me for a while, I have got plenty of useful experiences to find a better job in the future. At this moment I decided（用现在时态 因为用了At this moment ） to just enjoy my life, to see how beautiful our countryside is, to see how blue the sky is, to feel how fresh the air is, to enjoy the life I am alway dreaming of, to play with my dogs in the sunshine.

这次多过100了下次一定注意。。。辛苦老师了

无论你多么不乐意，你始终是要走进社会的。享受生命可以等到我们身心疲惫之后，呵呵。等我们都白发仓仓的时候，

谢谢老师！！我写的是不是很差啊

不是啊，你的思路很清晰啊，继续努力

Beatuiful dream

Chapter 1

Monday morning was coming（come是一个不可延续的动词，我们一般不用进行时态，只有在很个别的例子中才用。直接说It was monday morning ）! Cherry was so surprised that she had got the chance of working for SNOW TECHNOLOG（SHANGHAI) CO., LTD.

Cherry, a pretty girl, she was(用is ) twenty years of age, and（插入have,因为后面有for her future） full of the fantasy for her future. As many girls she was dreaming of being a office lady.

At her age, aren’t everything is good（一个句子中，怎么能出现两个BE动词呢？你想用反问句表达肯定的意思。everything is very well, isn't it?

"Oh, I must be hurry"(心理活动要有引号), she said to herself. It’s too(用so) excited for her to ignore the first time to go to office.(too to 结构表示，太。。以至于不能。。。。)

“This is your charge.”

希望你能把你的梦想之旅进行下去，我会继续关注Cherry的

> >

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April 21, 2008  sunny

I have just phoned a friend of mine and learnt, much to my shock, that her younger brother went away last Friday.My friend`s mother was dead（dead我们一般不用was dead 直接说died就可以了。形容词的时候，放在WAS后面做表语表示状态，显然这里表示死的状态是不合适的。） when she was a young girl.From then on,she took care of her younger brother just like(ed) a mother.Unfortunately,a few years ago,her brother wasn`t able to resist the temptation to take drug and turned to be a dope.When she knew the truth ,her heart nearly broke into pieces.These years,she tried her best to help him give it up.She spent money sending him to warning-house and paid his debt almost using up her savings.I am sure that she is  the best sister I have ever seen.Though her brother brings  her too many trouble,she still concerns him,never avoids anything.I only hope the dead go well,the living take care of themselves.

谢谢老师的修改哦。因为我已经工作了几年了，所以用完成时不知道对不对呢？

原来你都工作了啊，但是从你的作文中我看的是你还没有工作

如果是已经工作了并且还在进行中，用一般现在时态或者现在进行时，如果是工作完成了，用完成时态

[本贴已被 boninjan 于 2008-04-22 10:20:14 修改过]

April 21,           2008    cloudy

When I opened my eyes,it was power cut （变成the power was cut ） this （用on  morning。    this morning 一般表示将来时态 ，如果你想说即将听电，可以用this ）morning morning .Nevertheless ,it is(用was 因为从你的文章来看，这已经是一个过去的事情了) very very heated   today and I couldn't  stop to  wipe（你想说我整天出汗 是吗？你直接说 I  wiped sweat  all  day 。 stop to  do  是停下来去做别的某事。）  my sweat all the day.What's worse ,this （用that）evening I heard some unhappy things so that now I am sorry for that..

THANK  YOU VERY MUCH!

When I opened my eyes on  morning  the power was cut on  morning。Nevertheless ,it was very very heated  I  wiped sweat  all  day  .That evening I heard some unhappy things so that now I am sorry for that..

读你的第一句话，我以为你是要写 即将发生的事情，读到中间有觉得你是在写正在发生的事情，读到最后一句话，才明白，原来所有的时候都已经结束了，，，你对时态的把握太不清晰了

I was(用had) bad again....sometimes I just can't control myself...I don't know why..but I really feel bad for my nephew..an autistic boy..only 9 year old. Maybe i really can't(用couldn't 表示虚拟，因为这个事情并没有发生)  have any children...thinking of this...i am sad.... Today is going to be a sad day....

doudou0224 写:

老师,这里的like是介词吧?我想表达的意思是:像妈妈一样照顾他.

doudou0224 写:

做介词的表示象是可以的，但是你这个句子不完整啊，没有谓语动词。younger brother just was like a mother 这样说

老师
请教问题:挣前钱怎么说呢?
用make money?    earn money?    make a lot of money?还是???