冲刺的同学一定要看

【老师推荐】08年6月四级写作十大必背范文~~包括 地震 奥运 各种信函等范文 --北京新东方   

 提醒大家：最近一星期就不要再做什么题了，翻着泛泛的浏览各个考试部分的知识点倒是必要的。其实任何考试到最后几天是无法提高的，就是心态决定胜负。

   往期回顾

第一期
请同学们根据提示信息写出一篇150－200词的短文。写作时间约为30分钟。
题目：如何看待汽车这把双刃剑
[题目要求]
1.汽车给人们带来的好处。
2.汽车产生的问题
3你对汽车的看法。

第2期
根据所给情况写一个50~60字的便条
你被邀请去参加你朋友mike的生日派对，但是你临时有事不能去了。给mike写一个便条，解释你不能取得原因并且向他表达你的生日祝愿。要注意格式，内容，和语法
日期按写作文的日期留

第3期

Directions: In this part，you are allowed 30 minutes to write a composition of no less than 120 words on topic:The Increase in the Number of Candidates and Passers in the CET.Study the following chart carefully and base your composition on the information given in the chart.

　　Outline:

　　1、说明图表所表明的报考和通过CET考试人数的变化趋势。

　　2、分析产生这些变化的原因。

　　3、你从这张图表中所得出的结论。

第4期

You should write at least 120-150 words

On power Failure

1 在很多城市缺电现象严重。
2 分析造成这种现象的原因
3 提出解决的办法

第5期The following table gives statistics showing the aspects of quality of life in five countries. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the table below. 字数要求150字

 第6期 Salary or Interest. 150字左右
1 大学毕业面临工作选择：兴趣重要还是工资重要
2 你的观点
3结论

第7期
1当今，各种媒体非常发达，人们通过媒体购物相当普遍起来。
2媒体购物给人们带来很多方便，同时也暴露出其弊端。
3我的看法
字数要求150字 

第8期：    
 A Welcome Back Celebration

1.杨玲生病，情绪低落.
2.班上同学准备cheer her up.
3.举办一场欢迎party.

字数要求150字

第9期
1 08年5月12日四川汶川发生地震，你也有感觉。
2 新闻播报灾情，学校组织捐赠。
3 你的感受

第11期活动 5月28日--6月1日 1.工作场所安全问题引起普遍关注
2.事故发生的原因
3.如何避免事故的发生

Nowadays,as the development of the economics , many people have private cars. There is no doubt that cars have a lot of advantages.For example,it can save a lot of time and it is also a symbol of status. Every coin have two sides.As we all know,cars also have many disadvatages.Most cars need petrol to start,and it is a waste of energy.Cars also can pollute the environment and do harm to our health. In my opinion,we should try our best to take buses or bikes instead of driving cars.Only by this way can we have a pure environment.

分数/满分： 22/30

Nowadays, as（把”as”改成介词”with”。as作“随着……”的时候是连词，应该接从句） the development of the economics（改成”economy”。”economics”是指经济学，说国家经济则应该用”economy”）, many people have（这个have语法上没错，但是我倾向于用”start to own their private cars”。因为前面表达了“随着经济的发展”这么一个过程，主句的语义表述也应该展现一个过程） private cars.
There is no doubt that cars have a lot of advantages.
For example, it can save a lot of time (save这个动词的主语一般来说是人。所以可以改成it can help us to save…   ) and it is also a symbol of status.
Every coin have（改成”has”，记住动词的用法要和主语相对应哦~）two sides.
As we all know, cars also have many disadvatages（disadvantages）.
Most cars need petrol to start, and it is a waste of energy.
Cars also can（改成”can also”。also”是副词，应该放在助动词后面和实意动词前面） pollute the environment and do harm to our health.
In my opinion, we should try our best to take buses(这里用public transportation比较好。地铁和城铁都属于公交系统而且污染很小) or bikes instead of driving cars.
Only by this way（改成by doing this/ in this way） can we have a pure environment. （嗯~用了倒装呢~很好！记住哦，特殊句式在各种考试里面都是非常加分的！）

总结：文章思路还是很清晰的。正反两方面的意见都考虑到了。但是用词的准确性上还是有进步空间的。很多时候不是同学们不会写，是写不准，然后就丢分了。一定要小心！

老师真好，我的作文可差了，我正不知道怎么提高了，这样就好了，给我指名了一条路了，谢谢老师。 Today,more and more cars appeared. Many people had cars .Some people like by privated cars,because it is very convenient.Whatever you want to go somewhere,you can get it.In my opinion ,frankly speaking cars give us many convenient.But it also have many malpractice .Of course everything have two side.

分数：12/30

Today,more and more cars appeared（改成appear。车子越来越多是一个一般状况，“appear“这个动作并没有在过去的某段时间内结束）. Many people had（改成has） cars .Some people like by privated cars（这里同学想表达的应该是“有的人喜欢买私家车”吧？那应该改成"some people like to have their own cars"。like doing表达的喜欢有点偏向于爱好了，把买车看成爱好……这个……o(∩_&capo...但是这么说有点啰嗦。我个人倾向于用"some people own private cars"） ,because it is（改成cars are) very convenient.Whatever you want to go somewhere（改成"wherever you want to go"）,you can get it（改成there）.In my opinion ,frankly speaking（这么说没错，但是我倾向于把"frankly speaking"删掉。因为前面已经有个"In my opinion"了。原文这么写会显得有点累赘） cars give us many convenient（改成convenience。many后面跟名词形式）. （这里最好把句号改成逗号吧）But it also have（改成has） many malpractice（改成disadvantages比较好。malpractice是说人玩忽职守之类的意思。用于指车有点不当） .Of course everything have two side（改成sides）.

总结：这篇文章字数好像有点太少了噢……字数应该控制在给定范围＋/－10个单词之内。不然很容易被扣分。在内容上，思路是清晰的。前面介绍了现状，后面讨论。但是文章后面部分并没有很明确具体的分析利与弊。这样就会让内容流于空洞。会被狠扣分的呀。以后一定要注意！！

还有记住，介绍现状的时候动词一般来说用一般现在时。在动词的使用上一定要狠下功夫！ 然后在一些小方面要注意，像单复数形式之类的能拿到的分数一定要拿到手。一定要认真对待！

以后多写多练进步的空间还是很大的～

Today we can see cars everywhere.More and more people have cars.Our lifes have changed that it's more science and technology. In the one hand,cars have many advantages.It can makes us more convenient.We can drive it where we want to go.It can save times so that we don't have waiting bus.We don't have unbrella or raincoat when rainning.Cars help us very much. In the other hand,cars make accident easily.It will make traffic jam.We havn't opportunities to take exercise.So our healthy will broke down.The most important that the more cars the more pollute.We must protect our environment. In my opinion,we can park cars far away from somewhere where we want to go.We drive cars when rainning.We can go to work by bike in the shinning days.Let's protect our surroundings.

得分：17/30 字数不够

Today we can see cars everywhere.More and more people have cars.Our lifes have changed that it's more（这里没看懂……不过改成because of就可以通顺了） science and technology. In the one hand（改成On the one hand）,cars have many advantages.It can makes us more convenient（我倾向于把这里改成"bring us more convenience"。英语里面一般来说我们不说谁很"convenient"，这和汉语思维有点不一样）.We can drive it where（改成drive to wherever就可以了。drive a car在语法上没有错，但是很少这么用。drive本身就足够说明在开车了） we want to go.It can save times（改成time。时间不可数，但是时分秒可数） so that（用and就好了。so that通常表示结果或者目的。放这里好像不大合适吧～） we don't have waiting（改成have to wait for。1、表示不得不或者必要的意思的时候，用have to；2、表示等待什么的时候用wait for） bus（改成buses）.We don't have unbrella or raincoat（这里同学是想说“就算下雨我们也不用带雨伞或者雨衣”吗？那应该改成"don't have to carry an umbrella or a raincoat with us"。记住可数名词的单数形式一定要视乎情况和定冠词或者不定冠词一起出现，不能单独出现） when rainning.Cars help us very much. In（改成on） the other hand,cars make accident（改成have accidents。注意区别中文思维和英文思维） easily.It will make traffic jam（改成"we have traffic jams because of cars"）.We havn't（改成haven't） opportunities to take exercise.（换成逗号） So our healthy will broke（改成break） down.The most important（插入"things is"） that the more cars（插入一个逗号） the more pollute（改成pollution，动词不能和冠词以及形容词连用）.We must protect our environment. In my opinion,we can park cars far away from somewhere where we want to go.We drive cars when rainning.We can go to work by bike in the shinning days.Let's protect our surroundings.

总结：这位同学前半部分虽然有些小错误，但是还是写得很不错的。但是后面写汽车的坏处和解决方法的时候有点小问题。一来是开车和我们身体素质下降其实没有什么直接联系吧，写作的时候最好不要为了凑字数或者一定要写坏处所以硬安一个莫须有的罪名。怎么说人家汽车也不容易。咱们做人要厚道～ 二是解决方案那块park cars far away有什么直接效果呢？老师一下子没看出来呢……能解释说明一下可能会效果更好。

    The  car is one of those things which convince me that our country is becoming more and more prosperouse.It is convenient for people owning cars to go wherever they want.In addition,others will be jealous of those car owners.

    However,when you are excited about getting a car,why not think about something brought about by cars?Cars have something to do withor environment.The exhaust  gases pollute the air,affect the climate,and arise the sea level,which in return ruin our human beings.Furthermore,the increase of cars make traffic condition worse.Worse still,it gives rise to more and more traffice accidents.And you have to spend more money and energy in keeping a car than buying one.

    But I don`t mean we shouldn`t use cars.Every coin has two sides.In my opinion,we should use cars if necessary,or we could take bus or other public transport.I suggest that our government be in favor of it by making laws and taking some practical measures .Besides we should try our best to find clean,cheap and effective energy sources. 

分数：25/30[

The  car is one of those things which convince me that our country is becoming more and more prosperouse（改成prosperous）.It is convenient for people owning cars to go wherever they want. In addition, others will be jealous of those car owners.>>

    However, when you are excited about getting a car, why not think about something brought about by cars? Cars have something to do withor（with our）  environment. The exhaust gases pollute the air,affect the climate,and arise the sea level（这里用the exhaust就可以了。全句改成”The exhaust pollutes the air, affects the climate, and causes the sea level to rise.” Exhaust放在名词前面作形容词讲，表示用之不竭的，这里这么用不恰当吧。汽车尾气不能直接让海平面上升。所以最好不要直接就说尾气让海平面上升。）,which in return ruin （改成ruins。这里的which指代的是前面整个事实，用单数形式） our（用us比较好。Our human beings给人的感觉人类是我们家宠物或者财产似的） human beings. Furthermore, the increase of cars make（改成makes，因为主语是”the increase”不是”cars”） traffic condition worse. Worse still, it gives rise to more and more traffice（traffic） accidents. And you have to spend more money and energy in keeping a car than buying one.>>

    But I don`t mean we shouldn`t use cars. Every coin has two sides. In my opinion, we should use cars if（改成when） necessary, or we could take bus（改成a bus） or other public transport（改成vehicles。Transportation一般来说用在比较抽象的交通和运输概念里。Transport作名词讲的时候运输；运输机之类的。公交工具一般来说用public vehicles。但是公交系统我们则常说public transportation system）.I suggest that our government be in favor of it（这里it指代的是什么？应该再说明一下） by making laws and taking some practical measures .Besides we should try our best to find clean, cheap and effective energy sources（表示“资源”应该用resources）.

>>

>>

>总评：这篇文章总体写得很不错呢～同学要继续努力，争取更大的进步！下一期会针对专四出题。欢迎参与～>

My Opinion About The Car Cars,as a rather important kind of transportation,is quite common in our everyday life!It surely has so many advantages.However,it does have plenty of disadvantages as well. Cars are much faster than other vehicles,such as bieks,public buses and so on.So using cars can save a large quantity of time for us.And all we should do is just sitting comfortably in a car and watching the scene outside the window.We don't have to pedal our bikes or wait at the bus stop.Besides this ,we can have a quieter place and are able to avoid noises from others. But everything has two sides.If too many cars are in the city,the streets will be much too crowded and the traffic will be heavier.Besides this,there will be lots of polluted gas and will do harm to our environment.There is also a need to build more parking spots.And cities will be more crowded. In my opinion,even though cars have quite a few advantages,for our environment,we should reduce the number of cars and should choose the bus,although it's more uncomfortable and slower.

得分：23/30

My Opinion About The Car
Cars, as a rather important kind of transportation, is quite common in our everyday life!（用句号就可以了。用感叹号显得太激动了……） It surely has so（删掉so） many advantages. However, it does have plenty of disadvantages as well. Cars are much faster than other vehicles, such as bieks（bikes）, public buses（改成buses就好了。Buses一般来说都不是私人的） and so on. So（so一般来说不做句子开头用。所以考虑换一个词或者和前面那句结合在一起比较好哦~） using cars can save a large quantity of time for us. And all we should do is just sitting comfortably in a car and watching the scene outside the window. We don't have to pedal our bikes or wait at the bus stop. Besides this（用Besides就足够了）, we can have a quieter place and are able to avoid noises from others. But everything has two sides. If too many cars are in the city, the streets will be much too crowded and the traffic will be heavier. Besides this（最好不要重复地用同一个词或者短语。试试moreover, in addition, to add to this point之类的吧~）, there will be lots of polluted gas（用exhaust就可以了。过去分词表示被动，”polluted gas”感觉上那些气体原来是干净的，后来被污染了。但是事实是二氧化硫之类的气体本身就是污染源） and will do harm to our environment. There is also a need to build more parking spots（改成parking lots，停车场）.And cities will be more crowded（这一句出现的意义在哪里呢？）. In my opinion, even though cars have quite a few advantages, for （插入the sake of） our environment, we should reduce the number of cars and should choose the bus（改成choose to take the public vehicles比较好）, although it's more uncomfortable and slower.

Have you ever dreamed of a car of your own when you have to go

to work in a crowded bus?Have you ever hoped a private car as

you intend to spend your holiday outside?There is no doubt that

cars make us more convenient than ever before.

         However,cars also bring men a trail of problem,such as traffic

jam,air pollution ect.Valuing those queations,more and more people

in different countries start to take actions to solve them.As the

problem concerns our actual lives,everyone should take it

seriously.In my opinion,not only do we make oursevles

comfortable,but protect the enviroment first as well.、

19/30

Have you ever dreamed of a car of your own when you have to go to work in a crowded bus? Have you ever hoped（加上to have） a private car as you intend （改成intended）to spend your holiday outside? There is no doubt that cars make us more convenient than ever before.
         However,cars also bring men a trail of problem（改成problems）, such as traffic jam（改成jams）,air pollution ect（这里最好用and so on。缩写的ect.在考场的写作中最好不要用，否则会显得很不正式）. Valuing those queations（应该是用problems）, more and more people in different countries start to take actions to solve them. As the problem concerns our actual lives（改成daily life。Life表示生活的时候不可数，表示生命才可数。而且不怎么跟actual搭配）, everyone should take it seriously. In my opinion, not only do we make ourselves comfortable, but protect the enviroment（environment）